We are busy watching The Arrow Series and at some stage, Thea Queen discovers that her father is not who she thought he was but rather the infamous psycho villain Malcolm Merlyn.
So your dad might not be a psycho villain but the truth is that often our biological fathers are not who we think they are and often not how we want them to be.
I am always very cautious sharing days like Fathers Day or Mothers Day because sadly not many people have a good relationship with their parents and some people don’t even know who their parents are. This doesn’t mean that we can’t have good mentors in our lives and celebrate Fathers Day along with everyone else.
Father figures can be anyone…a brother, a relative, an employer, a church leader, a teacher or coach, a business owner or a friend.
- They inspire you to be more.
- Provide emotional support.
- They show up and are available to be a sounding board.
- They are not afraid to confront you.
- They share their knowledge.
Father Figures are key in any society and unfortunately lacking in most. Whether it is your biological father, a father figure or mentor, fathers play a vital role.
I am fortunate to still have my dad in my life and to have a good relationship with him. A lot of who I am today is because of who he is and how he spoke into my life all of those years ago. My husband’s dad on the otherhand died when he was a teenager and although it left a huge void, it has been great to see other Father Figures rise up around him and the growth that has taken place because of this. It wasn’t always easy…children who grow up without fathers are not always easy to father. They are usually not very vulnerable and don’t like to take advice.
I know that not everyone has a dad or has a good relationship with their dad but I do know how beneficial it is to have good Father Figures.
Many years ago we ran a Youth Group in Port Alfred and we discovered a scary truth. Only 1 in 10 of the children that we had contact with were in relationship with their biological fathers. They either lived with their mothers or other relatives but had little or no contact with their fathers. I am happy to say that a lot of these children have now grown up, have families of their own and are doing a pretty good job of being fathers themselves. I bet if you had to ask them, they would say that even though their biological fathers were not always available they did have other father figures along the way and this made all the difference.
It doesn’t matter how old you are, you will always be a son or a daughter. Whether you are a child, a young adult or a pensioner there is always a need to be encouraged, challenged and comforted.
My challenge to us all as children is this:
- Appreciate and value the Father Figures in your life.
- Don’t take correction too personally, listen and learn.
- Take the risk and be vulnerable.
To the father figures and mentors out there…thank you for taking people under your wing and sharing your knowledge. Thank you for being available and thank you for always seeing the best!
Here are a few ideas on how to appreciate your Father Figure this Fathers Day.
- Visit one of our local butcheries for a biltong hamper. Yummm!
- Book him into a spa…men need to be pampered too!
- Grab some fishing rods and book a night out on the Kowie River on a House Boat.
- Take him for a meal at one of the many restaurants or coffee shops in the area.
- Get meaningful tattoos at Full Sail Tattoos.
- For those without a budget…choose out a new car from one of the local dealerships.
- Have professional photos taken and printed on large canvas.
- Does he live out of town? No problem, buy a meaningful gift and arrange to send it with a local courier.
- Pop into Home Essentials, they have great tools for all the cooking dads out there…my dad being one of them (step aside Jamie Oliver).
- If they own a business arrange to have them listed in the next edition of Whezzit…cheeky I know!
- Check out the clothing at Josh Clothing Mens store…they have some great stuff.
- Print a personalized mug or T-Shirt at Compufix Signs or Goshawk Litho.
- Get him in shape with a gym membership. Try out Warfit or Oxygen Fitness.
- Put together a snack hamper. Get goodies from Time 4 Biltong and Wharf Street Fruit and Veg.
- How about a comfy arm chair from Marko Polo?
- Take him on the ride of his life with Beachcomber Horse Trails. This one is on my bucket list by the way…
- Pack a pic nic and take him on the Poor Mans Game Drive.
- Hire a canoe or book a boat cruise from Halyards Boat Hire.
- Book him in for a hair cut at the local barber.
- Get him his favourite magazine subscription.
With all this talk of fathers and mentors, I know it sometimes still feels like we’re alone but like I tell my girls…you’re never alone. You might feel like you are stranded with no one to talk to or bounce things off but you are not. No matter who you are or what you’ve done this scripture shows that you will always have a Father.
Consider the incredible love that the Father has shown us in allowing us to be called “children of God”—and that is not just what we are called, but what we are.
1 John 3 v 1.
- For those of you who need a little extra encouragement 🙂 Have a listen.